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I have been lucky enough to hear a child, relentlessly (yet innocently) ask, ‘why?’
Always ‘why’?.
Why?
Why?
Why?
“Why is that mommy?”
“Well, because ___ “
“But why mommy?”
“Because ___ “
“But why mommy?”
“Well, because ___ “
“But why mommy?”
Beneath ever answer, there is always another ‘why’.
The funny thing about the ‘why’ question is that it is quite often based on an assumption that leads us astray from the very start.
Often, when asking the question ‘why?’ we are already on a wild-goose chase that was started by a faulty assumption from the beginning.
In asking the question ‘why’ we presuppose or assume that we understand the ‘how’.
We wonder “why is it this way?”, before we accurately determine “how is it?”
In asking “why is it like this?” we mistakenly imagine we know the answer to “how is it really?”
Be careful here. I’m NOT saying, how do you think it is, or, how do you imagine it to be, but how is it REALLY?
Let me explain:
In my work with clients who are interested in exploring the deeper dimensions of Life, it is often found that the ‘why?’ has been sought before the ‘how?’. In some instances this is useful, but in many it is utterly useless. Utterly. Useless.
For example:
Imagine you feel a deep heaviness in your chest.
You imagine you are angry.
You wonder ‘why?’
You set off to understand your anger.
Anger Management classes for 10 weeks…
The problem is, it isn’t anger that you are feeling, but sorrow.
You have headed in the wrong direction.
Rather than Anger Management classes for 10 weeks,
therapy and emotional release may have served you better.
This means finding the right approach for the right level of Life.
But that can NEVER happen until you accurately and correctly interpret ‘how‘ things are before you go off to determine ‘why‘ things are as they are.
Here is an excellent little story that explains this essential understanding further. It’s called:
The Parable of the Poisoned Arrow
A man went to the Buddha insisting on answers to a variety of questions, but the Buddha instead put a question to him: “If you were shot by a poison arrow, and a doctor was summoned to extract it, what would you do? Would you ask such questions as who shot the arrow, from which tribe did he come, who made the arrow, who made the poison, etc., or would you have the doctor immediately pull out the arrow?”
“Of course,” replied the man, “I would have the arrow pulled out as quickly as possible.”
The Buddha concluded, “That is wise, for the task before us is the solving of life’s problems; until the problems are solved, these questions are of secondary importance.”
Life does not depend on the knowing how we got here, why we are here or what will happen after we are gone, but instead our present Life asks: “What is it like to be here so fully that we inhabit the enormity and totality of the Life we have been given?”
If we are concerned about ‘what created the world?’ and ‘why are we here?’ then reconsider this Parable of the Poison Arrow.
The first question to ask, ALWAYS, is “how is it?”, lest we die with an arrow in our chest wondering ‘why?’.
The ‘how?’ is the doorway to wisdom.
The ‘why?’ is often (not always) a distraction and obsession of the curious human mind.
PS: This doesn’t even begin to address how many questions don’t even have an answer at all, such as ‘what is the meaning of Life?’ or ‘who am I?’
In these instances I agree with Rilke:
“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.”
I am often asked what I mean by ‘Waking Up’.
In my work I use the term ‘Waking Up’ in four distinct but related ways.
First, to Wake Up is to instantly but temporarily become more aware, alert and attentive.
For instance, if I asked you to Wake Up right now, you may become more aware, alert and attentive, but you would probably lapse into sleep again very soon.
Second, to Wake Up is to progressively and permanently become more aware, alert and attentive.
An example of this is often the result of the long term practice of meditation or attention training, where you find that you spend more and more of your life connected to your present experience.
Third, to Wake Up is to instantly and permanently transform who/what you are in the deepest sense.
This type of Waking Up is thoroughly documented and highly prized by the world’s wisdom traditions. Kensho, Satori, Enlightenment (proper), Illumination, recognizing your True Nature etc are some of the terms used by these traditions to point to a permanent shift in ones deepest identity.
It also means to discover or uncover ‘that which was always the case’.
Fourth and finally, to Wake Up means to progressively and permanently bring to life various potentials or capacities that have been dormant, unrealized, or asleep.
For instance, most of us have physical, emotional, mental, relational, spiritual and moral capacities that are laying dormant and asleep because the have not yet been uncovered and exercised.
Through the use of various practices that are designed to exercise and strengthen our sleeping capacities we can unfold our potentials to deeper more mature levels.
One of the most exciting things about Integral Practice, as I have discovered, is that conditions are created for all four types of Waking Up to occur.
The practice of returning to your immediate, direct experience is combined with the long term practice of exercising your various capacities which is also combined with the practice of resting in your True Nature.
If you are interested in exploring this further, here are a couple excellent sites that explore various facets of Integral Practice, followed by my own Integral Practice Workshop to be offered on September 15 in Red Deer.
The Integral Institute is here.
Sometimes, apple blossoms whither having never borne fruit.
Falling stars go unobserved and un-wished upon.
Lucky pennies go forever unfound.
And love
waxes and wanes
like the cycles of the seasons…
Sometimes life makes its own plans for us
caring little for what we long for.
Life brings a nameless yearning
that gnaws a hole of incompleteness
in the tenderness of the heart.
Please
find a way into yourself
before it’s too late.
Even the moon will die
without having known a light of
its
own…
In my seminars and workshops, I like to speak about the visible and tangible effects of the sustained practice of Awakened Attention, as is expressed or ’spoken’ through the male and female body/mind, respectively.
As the male and female orientation is generally (and thankfully!) so different, it is useful to use different words to describe the phenomenon of male and female practitioners displaying the effects of awakening to their special gifts.
These gifts are our birthright, brought to life through the cultivation of Awakened Attention, opening the heart, stilling the mind, relaxing the body, transmitting one’s sense of awakened aliveness, energetic flow, spontaneous humor, natural wisdom and inherent joy.
If you’ve ever seen a man walk into a room and demand attention by his very existence, by the way he stands, moves and expresses himself, you are witnessing what I call a man of Presence. There is a solidity and trustablity there, as well as something that may make you immediately self-conscious if you are a man. If you are a woman, it may be difficult to keep from staring, because you feel that he has something you want.
Presence is the palpable and immediately recognizable transmission of awakened aliveness, energy and awareness, as it flows through the body/mind of a man.
If you’ve ever witnessed a woman who is so alive and carefree in her body, emanating a radiance that enlivens anyone in close proximity, you are witnessing what I call a woman of Shine. There is an alluring and captivating quality there, as well as something that may make you self-conscious, if you are a woman. If you are a man, you may feel desirous and intensely attracted, even if you do not find her physically appealing.
Shine is the palpable and immediately recognizable transmission of awakened aliveness, energy and light, as it flows through the body/mind of a woman.
Both Presence and Shine can be expressed or demonstrated by both male and female, but males seem more comfortable with the word, Presence, and females with, Shine. There is a consensus that Shiny males and Present females does not work as well.
There is just one method which is obligatory for all :
to stand with the attention in the heart.
All other things are beside the point
and do not lead to the heart of the matter.
~ Theophan the Recluse
Taken From Waking Up To Life!
In the spirit of Chapter 5 of my book Waking Up To Life!
(PDF available here) I came across this audio/video today and wanted to share it.
I only suggest that some of the factoids be taken with a touch of caution.
Shocking and telling none-the-less.
It amuses me that I am becoming known as ‘The Wake Up Guy’. Not ‘that idiot’ or ‘The Bald One’, but ‘The Wake Up Guy’.
Cool.
It first started at a teachers convention last year when some wide eyed educators walked up to my booth and said, “Hey, you’re that ‘Wake Up Guy’ and I simply said “yes, I AM that Wake Up Guy”, as if I had intended on becoming known by that moniker.
Like almost every handle we ever become known by, The Wake Up Guy was bestowed upon me, then accepted and adopted.
Now, it has a weight to it. It has become a burden I happily bear. It’s a burden only because it adds some sorta mystique to my persona and how I am perceived by others. I am expected to be awake at all times, and if you’ve read my book Waking Up To Life!, ya know it just isn’t so.
In fact, when I catch myself asleep it is playfully painful.
Playful, because there isn’t a whole lot I ‘buy into’ these days. Especially this mind I call ‘mine’.
THE mind is what it does, which is move. A great tool, a wonderful servant, a horrible master.
Painful, because although I have been practicing Attention Training for over 16 years, I still mess up LARGE. Ask my gal Susan, my cat Francis or my watchful friends.
Conversely, I had a very telling experience the other day that highlights the power and benefits of Attention Training and Waking Up.
As I left my home to go for a run I noticed my driveway was blocked by a big truck. According to my mind, ‘a big stupid truck, driven by some jerk who is gonna ….’.
My mind, THE mind, immediately started sharing its righteous indignation, commenting on this intolerable situation:
“How dare they…. blablabla”
“I’ll show them how to park… $%#hole”
I read the bumper sticker: “How’s my driving? Call 1-800-IAmStupid” is what I thought it read.
My mind, THE mind said “I don’t know about your driving but your parking is… bleeeeep”.
Images of fights (with me winning of course) were then thrown into the fray of THE spinning mind.
I hadn’t even ran 10 yards and I was already thinking of quitting. I wanted to take care of this now. The mind wanted to take care of this now.
Instead I went for a 30 minute run that was periodically colored by the mind’s continued rant. Moments of sublime natural beauty were interspersed with moments of frenzied mental miasma.
When I got home the truck was still there and the moment of confrontation was beckoning me.
I marched to the door and banged once. My neighbor answered the door while talking on the phone, but he knew why I was there. His friend came running around the corner, obviously apologetic, and before he could say anything I threw out my hand and introduced myself with a smile. We shook hands, chatted for a moment and parted friends.
My heart was left softened and open.
The mind was silent and still.
I was awake, alert and alive.
Then, my mind, THE mind said simply …”next time you’ll be sorry…”
