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I am so very fortunate to have the opportunity to provide bedtime medications to about 40 of the 110 residents who live in the Red Deer Nursing Home. At about 8:00 pm, after they’ve been assisted into bed, I go room to room and offer the medications that have been ordered by the Dr.
Because I am very new to the Red Deer Nursing Home, I am just getting to know these beautiful people, so I am somewhat uncertain as I approach each room. I cannot be sure of what awaits me on the other side of each and every door.
But here’s the thing:
I’ve created a practice that addresses the countless challenges I face, each time I knock and enter a residents room.
First and foremost is the intention to practice and work with whatever arises with absolute awakeness, awareness, and openness.
This means the mind is clear and silent, and the body feels slightly excited/curious as it faces the unknown.
Entering the room I immediately notice, ‘eyes open or closed?’.
If closed I begin saying their name from a distance, looking for the least intrusive way of getting their attention or waking them.
If and when their eyes open, I approach slowly, radiating benevolence (as I’ve described in a previous blog entry) until I know they see me, attempting to disarm them as quickly as possible. I’m sure that it is here that they can sense my joy and openness, because it is here that my heart blooms.
I see a miraculous body/mind being near the end of its life.
I see a unique swirling pattern of color and living light.
I see life in its totality, shining from behind aged eyes.
So I approach while radiating my own aliveness, transmitting my assurance of safety and respect, but also something more.
That ’something more’, is also something less, in that it cannot be measured or studied.
It cannot be observed or quantified.
I’m sure this practice of offering ’something more’ will never make the ‘best practices’ list, because our Western mind-set is so stuck in the paradigm of the outer world of providing ‘care for’ others, that we have neglected the intangible inner world of ‘caring about’ others.
That ’something more’ takes no extra time, effort or money. In fact, I would stake my life on the bet that that ’something more’ saves time, effort and money.
So what is that ’something more’?
Simple. To make them feel and know they are seen, simply and utterly.
“I see you” my eyes say to them.
“I see you in your entirety” my smile says to them.
My touch says, “I see you in your enormity, and your vulnerability, and your perfection”.
I see you.
If you had the choice of either dying with someone at your side or completely alone, which would you choose?
I ask this question because I am often surrounded by beautifully transparent elderly folks who are in their final years. I am called to reflect often upon my own life and approaching death.
The question above really has a deeper question beneath it, which is this:
What is it that someone could offer you in your final days or moments?
Support? Comfort? Humor? Understanding?
Their own confusion? Their own grief? Their own misunderstanding?
I question, because I know the answer for me and have experienced the deep value of looking at this deeply.
What is it for you?
Please respond with your answer and your rationale.
There are many many moments in my life where the sheer quantity of tasks and commitments I have before me buckles my knees. For a moment I feel paralyzed by the enormity of my life situation.
There are feelings of anxiety, dread and impending doom.
These difficult experiences are now a wake up call, inviting me to open beyond my current smallness.
In a single moment, everything returns to its proper place. I realize that I am as large as life.
In fact, I AM life.
Or, more correctly, Life is alive in the shape of me and has become lost in my life situation. The Ocean that I am has shrunk to the wave that I imagine myself to be.
Silly me!
Any moment of suffering is an invitation to open and remember what is real and true, and open beyond the little comings and goings of my life situation, whatever it is.
WHATEVER it is.
As human beings, some of our greatest pleasures are actually the sudden removal and absence of pain.
A sliver removed, hunger satiated, an injection of a pain reliever, a baby birthed…. long ago…. “it was wonderful… wasn’t it? we remember, forgetting the 12 hours of labor.
As human beings, our ability to forget pain is legendary.
But as you read these words right now, can you feel the pleasure of your lack of pain and discomfort?
You can, but will you?
Will you consent to open to your absence of trauma, discomfort and horror?
Can you feel your un-mangled leg, free of pain and suffering?
Can you feel your lack of stomach cancer, nausea and vomiting?
Can you enjoy your lack of bad news, loss of a loved one, or absence of grief?
Are you grateful for your lack of tragedy, right now?
Can you read these words? Understand? Breathe? Speak? Move?
These are all forms of pleasure, if they are returned to you after losing them.
Noticing the absence of your suffering is a wonderful practice that can make us more attuned to the beauty that is before us.
The beauty we become numb to… unnecessarily.
Nurse/Consultant Claims Canadian Health Care
Is In Danger of Losing Its Heart – Offers Solutions
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Red Deer, Alberta, Canada, (PRWeb), May 1, 2008
Frontline Health Care Providers face almost insurmountable challenges in their efforts to provide ‘care’, that is not merely hurried, mechanical and routine, but is also compassionate and attentive to the personal needs of the care receiver. Is Canadian Health Care in danger of losing its heart?
Aaron McNaught, the owner, and creative force behind Aaron McNaught Education/Consultations, isn’t waiting for an answer.
Instead, McNaught has written and launched a Special Report entitled: Exposed and Examined: Three Major Factors Threatening The Quality of Frontline Canadian Health Care. What Are They? What Can You Do About Them?
In this report, McNaught, who is also a psychiatric nurse, outlines one simple practice that puts an end to much of the unnecessary suffering experienced by frontline care providers.
Says McNaught, a 17 year practitioner of the advanced skill sets he teaches, “It almost seems like a conspiracy that we are not taught the life affirming skill of staying connected to our present experience with a strong, energetic attention. This ancient practice, found at the core of all the world’s wisdom traditions, leads to a variety of powerful and almost immediate benefits including:
- the slowing down and stabilization of thought processes, naturally leading to -
- enhanced clarity, focus, emotional stability and feelings
- of well being reduced tension, stress and anxiety caused by unnecessary mental and emotional
- activity vastly improved communication skills, empathy and compassionate interactions
“Our western society is finally beginning to take notice of these kinds of teachings and skills. For example, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the bestselling, Finding Flow, claims that, “to control attention means to control experience, and therefore the quality of life. How much stress we experience depends more on how well we control attention, than on what happens to us.””
“In my workshops with frontline care providers”, continues McNaught, “I hear repeatedly that they are well aware of the challenges they face. They are sick and tired of hearing about the statistics and surveys. They want real solutions they can use to manage their stress, emotions, interactions and moment to moment experience while on the job today.”
McNaught goes on to suggest that there are deeper issues at stake, “Care providers are just like anyone untrained to deal with stress. The real problem is that the health, safety and welfare of those we care for is jeopardized. Unmanaged stress and emotional reactivity are hardly optimal conditions for anyone to work in, much less to care for your loved ones in.”
McNaught ends on an optimistic note, “Attention Training is not a complicated solution, but its simplicity does not negate its power and effectiveness. This one simple skill, integrated and practiced in the workplace can put the heart back into health care.”
The Special Report is available at http://www.wakinguptolife.com/SpecialReport.htm
Aaron McNaught – Aaron McNaught Education/Consultations
Suite #2, 4917 48th St. Red Deer Alberta T4N 1S8
Call 403-302-2523 or toll free at 1-866-593-3040
aaron@wakinguptolife.com
http://www.wakinguptolife.com
